Four Agreements
Has anyone noticed how much attention is given to January in comparison to February, March and the rest of the year? How are those resolutions set in January coming along? If you are among 80% of people, many of your goals and plans to be in better physical shape have been left by the wayside, only to be forgotten until swimsuit season arrives!
I wonder what causes such a dilemma. Is it our desire to make a change but lack a plan? There are numerous blogs and books available to teach us how to put a “doable” plan in place; daily decisions, small steps; you name it, there are helps available. Goals such as completing a degree, losing 20 pounds or running a marathon sound grandiose, but sadly, many set goals but don’t work as hard on steps needed to realize them.
One of my dear friends felt unsettled for years due to her incomplete Bachelors degree. A while back she said, “Enough, I’m going to finish this”, and then called the university near her home and set the wheels in motion. It took three semesters to finish, but on the day of her graduation she wept with joy as she walked across the stage to accept her diploma. (As did all of us who witnessed her tenacity!).
Currently, she’s in her second year of her Masters degree!
I tell this story because one, she inspires my soul and two, she took needed steps, stuck with it and worked hard to accomplish the dream. This is how we reach our resolutions. We make a plan and stick to it. When we stumble, we make another plan and keep going.
Recently, I heard Author Don Miguel Ruiz, speaking on a podcast. He shared some thoughts from his book, “The Four Agreements”. It was eye opening to hear his conviction and simplicity of principle. The first one on the list struck me, in light of the idea of those resolutions we easily set aside. “Be impeccable with your word”.
One who is described as impeccable is one who holds themselves to a high standard, one who is beyond reproach. Such people are impressive and accomplished; they call us higher by their example. Who are people you know who strive effectively and reach their goals? (Keep in mind, everyone struggles and flails, but we are looking for those who continue to get up and restart). Think about that person and ask yourself these questions: What do I admire about them? How could I imitate one thing I see in their character? What might be the result if I do?
This first agreement is multifaceted as we dig deeper into being a person who is impeccable with their word.
Interestingly enough, if I give my “word” to someone, am I more prone to complete that particular task than if I just say to myself, I will accomplish this or that? There may be a level of people pleasing or a desire to not disappoint, or want them to think well of me. If this is so, understand and accept yourself where you are today and make some steps to grow. Perhaps it would be helpful bring someone else alongside to help you, to inspire and support as you work to overcome?
What about wanting to do what’s good for us? What if we make a choice to keep our “word” because we deserve the good thing, the accomplishment of the goal? Can we find some deeper level of self-care by being “impeccable with our word” to our self!
Also, let’s not allow a double-standard when we hold others to a different expectation of performance. Some of us are harsh with others when they don’t stick with their word, while we give ourselves an “out”, we make excuses for our own bad behavior but act ungraciously when others do.
Gosh, it’s easy to be judge-y!
In a conversation with a friend, we discussed the value of releasing this tendency to be critical and instead striving to understand the other person. Easy to say - hard to do.
On the other hand, some of us are tough on ourselves and kinder to others when they falter. We give the benefit of the doubt, but never to ourselves. It pays to simply be a man or woman of our word.
Today, we’ve looked a little closer at the first agreement of the four. Take some time to think about the other three and how they pertain to daily life. If we truly lived these concepts, what kind of world would it be? Which of these four speaks tenderly to your soul? Share in the comments to which agreement you’ll pay closer attention.
Stay tuned for thoughts on the other three agreements in future blogs. Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter to be notified when they hit the press!