Grow in Gratitude
Even though it isn’t November or the “season for gratitude”, it is still a topic about which we need reminders all year long. I’ve been recently convicted of how easily I fall into patterns of complaining and forget how crazy-blessed my life is! I want to improve and hope you’ll join me as I challenge myself to do much better.
How easy it is for us to be negative and full of complaints. If we aren’t watchful, it becomes our habit to whine about day-to-day troubles. Our negativity can include anything and everything like, “The traffic today was abysmal, It’s so hot! These shoes hurt my feet, There were so many mosquitos!”
While all those may be true, one question to consider is this: through which lens do we view our life? We think, “poor me”, everything is rough, life is hard! When all we do is focus on the bad, amazingly we find it.
It can be difficult to find much happiness, peace or contentment when we zoom in on the negative and complain repeatedly. Here’s another question:
Can we be grateful for even the bad stuff?
-If you’re sick with a cold, can you be grateful for health in times when you’re not sick? Or grateful for extra down-time to read that book you’ve been wanting to?
-If someone is rude to you, instead of whining about it all day to everyone you meet, can you instead use it as an opportunity to refine how you want to treat others?
When we reframe negative circumstances and turn them into a growth opportunity, the haze of complaints clear away. When our perspective shifts to us finding the good wherever we can, our eyes open to new horizons and we see more clearly how many reasons we have to be thankful.
If we define gratitude we see it is an inner sense of appreciation, an affirmation of the goodness in our life and the act of acknowledging this goodness. Studies show the emotional benefits of gratitude to be GREAT. Take a look at this list of twelve benefits of increasing your spirit of thankfulness:
Reduced stress
Increased resilience
More relaxed
Better decision-making ability
Energy level increased
Improved sleep patterns
More productive
More optimism
Better self-esteem
Less self-centered
Less envious of others
Deeper connection in relationships
This is not an all-inclusive list, but wow, it is a remarkable start. All these positive shifts can certainly help motivate us to find more reasons to practice the art of gratitude each day.
Even on those days when there seems to be no good anywhere, if we lift our eyes and look through a lens of thanksgiving, we may be surprised at the amount of good to be found. A tool I’ve used to become more adept at identifying all that good, is to write a daily gratitude list.
Honestly, I’ve gotten away from doing this consistently. It’s much easier to be “complainy” when not making a focused effort on gratitude. It’s time to begin again. Though it takes minutes a day, adjusting our lens has the potential to transform our whole way of approaching life!
Here are TWO CHALLENGES I am throwing out to all my readers and to myself.
ONE: Write down three things every day for which you are grateful.
-Whatever time you choose (before bed or first thing in the morning) try to make it consistent to develop a habit. (On a side note, habits are easier to develop if you link them to one you already have, say when you have your morning coffee, you’ll write your list…).
-Some people make a “note” on their phone and record it electronically. Others use a notebook or journal to write it down. If you want to use Post-it notes, that will work too!
-Be specific. Instead of, “I’m grateful for friends”, try “I’m grateful I met with Suzanne yesterday to share a meal and wonderful conversation.”
-Remember, it is a learned skill-you’ll get better and better. Try to focus on experiences and people rather than objects, (although it’s always good to list gratitude for having a roof over your head).
TWO: Share those three things with someone, (in person, phone call, text or email), every day.
-It may be the same person each day or different, but hold yourself accountable to make your list and share it.
-Verbalizing these thoughts helps solidify the habit of gratitude into the fiber of our being. It reminds us of the little flashes of good that have occurred and hopefully it helps the person with whom you share it to be more grateful.
-If you have a day where you don’t accomplish this challenge, don’t disparage yourself, instead, find a reason to be grateful for what you learned and continue on!
After a few weeks, we will be astonished at the positive changes occurring in our life as we adjust our focus. It will be interesting to see how it impacts the people in our life.
I read a compelling thought which seems significant as we change our approach and look for the good.
“We are the average of the five people with whom we spend most of our time”.
If this is true, then we should consider who those five people are. Might we make an effort to spend time with others who also try to be positive and find what is good? It is worth thinking about.
I look forward to hearing about your response to the challenge. Feel free to comment below or email me! And, if you know someone who could benefit from this challenge - pass it on!
Grow in gratitude.